Defending my marriage

Picture3Yeah.  I really am going to post about that.

A few weeks ago my husband and I celebrated 31 years of marriage. Truthfully, it was less “wahoo” and more “how the hell did that happen?”  You see, sometimes he really, truly pisses me off. As I do him. Yet, we have grown together for so many decades that we are now two plants that intertwine so thoroughly that we can’t be separated. We support and caress each other in some spots, while in other places we grow at odds so that we can each allow the other the sunlight and space that we need.  I suspect, for all its ups and downs, that our friendship and our love is what a good marriage is. And yet, what we have is apparently under vicious attack. The Supreme Court just announced that it will consider U.S.A. vs Windsor, a constitutional challenge to the “Defense of Marriage Act”, a law that is supposed to be protecting my husband and I.  DOMA.  And it is protecting our relationship from what exactly?

There are two romantic relationships  in the novel y1. Heterosexual couple Joy and Toby have challenges to overcome but, of course, love triumphs.  I am at heart a romantic. Homosexual couple Zane and Afi have the same issues and a good many more. International boundaries separate them, and their is love is actually illegal in Afi’s home. It will take nothing less than fully recognized marital status to resolve their issues. Legalities matter.  Oh but wait.  Fully recognized marital status for these two young lovers is a threat to my marriage, because ….  because?

What does it take to make a marriage work for thirty one years? My husband and I had the blessings of society and few of the difficulties often faced by others.  We are the same age, race, and religion. Most of our problems we caused all by ourselves. Luckily, we dealt with them. The biggest threat to finding solutions? A cynical society that often conveyed the message of “oh, just give up if gets tough”.  Romance is dead.  No relationship can last. Nobody’s ever happy in a long term relationship. It’s a powerful message that is out there and, I know from experience that it does not help a couple push through those tough times and find a way to make it work.

So today, I am picking up my pen and defending my marriage. Yes, allowing two people in love to have all the legal support for making their relationship last, helps my marriage too. That’s right. A world where love and long term commitment between any two people is honored is a world in which making ones own long term commitment work is just a little bit easier.  It helps every single married couple if every time two people, any two people, find the courage and desire to make a commitment to each other, we don’t just tolerate.  We celebrate with them.

Obviously, I am not saying that marriage is right or preferred for everyone.  But if it is what you have chosen, consider defending your marriage now.  Allow me to suggest signing Kirsten Gillibrand‘s petition to repeal DOMA by clicking here. Let’s really defend the institution of marriage!

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y1 review

Please check out the blog Serial Distractions, a place for “Fiction, Reviews, Geekery” and an all around fun blog for science fiction readers.  Librarian and author Shedrick Pittman-Hassett  reviewed x0 a few months ago here and he has has been kind enough to now review y1 as well.  He seems to have liked it 🙂

Bruce Willis with boobs

Click here. Then scroll down and check out the post right below my interview for a  fascinating discussion of what women want in science fiction and life in general, complete with a well done Bruce Willis with boobs photo to make the point that, well, gender identity and preferences are complicated. Male science fiction writer Rob Lopez gives thought provoking arguments about women and if you don’t agree with him, he welcomes intelligent comment back. (Yes, I’m working on my response.)

Oh, and when you finish with Bruce, please do scroll back up and check out the  short write-up and interview with me that Rob was kind enough to post.

y1 featured and I get interviewed

Thanks to 3000 year old vampire Bektamun and her modern alter ego author Rebeka Harrington for featuring y1 on her blog.

And, please check out The Indie Book Blog Database where I answered a series of sometimes odd questions and got featured as the author of the day.

A “crime writer and an optimist” gives y1 some coverage

Nick Wastnage’s blog

A thank you goes out to Nick Wastnage, author of twelve crime novels and the blog “just a crime writer and an optimist” .  He has been kind enough to feature y1 and my guest post this week.  Please check out his site for tidbits on an interesting assortment of crime writers and for a cheeky quote of the day sure to make you chuckle.

y1 has been reviewed

Brian Rush

Please check out Brian Rush’s blog for his review of y1. He is a fantasy writer himself, and describes his fascinating blog  as “a site for books, Pagan and other open minded spirituality, general creativity and cantankerousness, not necessarily in that order.”  You may enjoy his interesting insights about mythology, fantasy and spirituality while you are there.

y1 free: you can do it tomorrow

If you would like to download y1 to your kindle FOR FREE and missed the first promotional day, you can do it tomorrow.  Sunday September 23, y1 is available for free download at http://www.amazon.com/y1-ebook/dp/B00951DIIG.

I love the phrase “you can do it tomorrow.”  Today is technically the first day of autumn and it is seventy degrees with a clear blue sky in Houston.  Trust me this is not a common occurance here in late September or, as we locals call it, mid-summer. When something this unusual happens, you need to pour  yourself a morning beverage and sit on your front porch. And if your messy kitchen or pile of dirty laundry or other inside chore calls to you ….. you yell back over your shoulder  “I can do it tomorrow.”  Or at least later this afternoon….because  autumn mornings need to be enjoyed.

y1 is done!

A mother knows that eventually she has to let her children go, in order for them to blossom into the wonderful people that she always hoped that they would be.  And so, at some point, an author has to let a book go.  Stop with the rewrites.  No more obsessing.  Put it out there to be enjoyed, disliked, ignored or praised.  Whatever.  It is done.

And so as of  September 1, I declared to myself that y1 was finished. It is now available here at amazon.com. Please check it out! Any further obsessing will be done here on my blog instead :).